Self Care as a Practice

Self care is a phrase that I see thrown around a lot in the media, being used to sell more scented candles and bath bombs. But self care is about more than just having a night to pamper yourself every now and then, it should be a practice you build on over time that ultimately leads to you being happier, and healthier.

Google trends indicated that searches for self-care have more than doubled from 2015 (correct as of May 2021). From capitalist interest to declining quality of life, we’ve been inundated with self care content.

For chronically ill, mentally ill, and marginalised people, this practice can look very different to the decorated candle lit baths we see online. It’s about creating necessary routines that lend to your day to day wellbeing, and it’s overwhelmingly important.

My last post on ritual can come into play here because in some ways, they are little rituals we do for ourselves! Self care is hard, no matter which way you cut it. Oftentimes we’re trying to look after everyone and everything around us before considering looking after ourselves, but you cannot fill from an empty cup.

Self care doesn’t have to be a night off just to go straight back in to barrelling towards burnout the next day. So here’s my tips for how you can build a more sustainable practice gradually over time.

  1. Go slow, try to only introduce one or two new habits at a time, otherwise you might overwhelm yourself and end up giving up quicker and easier.

  2. Go back to basics if you need. Burnout and flare ups can be debilitating, and even remembering to brush your teeth can be hard. Make a list of the most important day to day habits and stick to just the bare minimum when you’re struggling.

  3. Curate what self care means to you. What’s your goal? Do you just need to look after yourself better? Do you need to do extra for your health? Are you making more effort to look after your mind? Having a goal can make keeping it up easier.

  4. Do away with habit trackers if they don’t help you. For some people, habit trackers can illicit feelings of shame and disappointment when we miss a day (or a week) but it’s okay, you can always pick it back up again, no harm done.

  5. Keep sustainability in mind. You can’t keep up a ridiculous self care routine if you’re struggling with the basics, so maybe do away with the 20 step skincare routine until you have some more time and energy. Remember, the goal is to look after yourself, so don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be!

  6. You don’t need to buy anything to take part in self care. The wellness market is booming at the moment but you are under no obligation to spend money you don’t have in order to do it. Keep it simple, you’ve got this 💜

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A Sapphic Fantasy

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The importance of Queer Spaces